Quotes from Jesse's Coat a Useful Crutch, Diego's Kitchen Not So Much

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Carrie: "If I saw you in that I'd be thinking, hey, that girl probably can't diagnose my symptoms, but she can sure bring my chart to the guy who can."

Jesse: "Did you see that? She walked right up to me and gave me her pee."

Diego to Linda: "Linda, a billion years ago our ancestors emerged from the primordial slime and began evolving into non-much-dwelling organisms. It is my belief that you were left behind."

John: "Check it out! A toast-opener. Hey, Diego, can I have this?"
Diego: "Yes. You can also have the refriga-broom."

Diego: "Linda."
Linda: "Yes, Diego."
Diego: "Please get out of my house."
Linda: "Yes, Diego. Sorry, Diego. Bye, Diego."

Kurt to Jesse: "You have demonstrated that you are a reliable and competant nurse's aide and consequently you are entitled to wear this coat. Please do not weep or say words. Good day."

Diego: "She calls me Chilego."
Jesse: "That's because she loves you. And so do I. Because you are a wonderful generous human being."
Diego: "Is there any way I am going to be converting this generosity into sex?"
Jesse: "Absolutely."

Diego: "And you heard the part about cleaning the house?"
Linda: "Of course. It's the least I can do."
Diego: "No, I've seen the least you can do."

Diego: "Welcome home."
Linda: "Aww, Diego, thank you so much, you're the best."
Diego: "And you're the... welcome home."

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