"Linda's cousin is a nurse, and she just bought a house." -Carrie
"No, Linda's cousin was selling prescription drugs out of the back of an ambulance." -Linda

"Look, I am an American, okay. This is my country, and I can invite over whoever I want!" -Jesse

"Linda, I am not gonna marry him to solve some sort of paperwork problem." -Jesse
"Okay, then marry him for the jalapeno in his pants." -Linda

"I want you to know how much I love you, and I want you to know that I would never do this unless I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you." -Diego
"Diego." -Jesse
"Will you marry me, Jesse?" -Diego

Teleplay by Peter Murrieta & Gabrielle Allan, Story by Dana Klein, Directed by Shelley Jensen

Guest starring John Webber as Darrold, Michael Winters as the INS guy.