"It's happy, it's playful... it speaks to the child inside every drunk." -Darren

"I know I seem mild-mannered, but underneath I'm a real bad-ass." -Diego

"The reason we found her is because we were looking for a bug." -Diego

"Look at her little nose, and her little eyes..." -Jesse
"Yes, yes, she's a baby. Everything on her is very small." -Diego

"It might be a little stinky." -Jesse
"A French-man in the summer might be a little stinky. This is... like... this is like a smell from... The X-Files." -Diego

"So, childbirth. That must be pretty painful." -Diego
"Well, just imagine that you go to the bathroom to pee, and a couch comes out." -Jesse

Written by Matt Martin & Zachary Rosenblatt, Directed by Shelley Jensen

Guest starring Heidi Mokrycki as the woman, Tom Lennon as Ernie. Co-starring Joyce Guy as Teresa, Alex Russan as the teenage boy.